Thoughts on "Wellth"

Lately I've been finding the term "wellth" popping up all over the place. Particularly from one of my favorite websites, Mind, Body, Green. Sure, I have a touch of transcendentalism in me in the sense that I have always been ever-questing to better myself. It's nice to have a truly never-ending hobby, right? *wink*

What is wellth? "Wellth is the combination of physical, mental, and financial wellbeing that provides a foundation for each of us to strive toward success by living our best lives." I'd add spiritual to that list as well.

It is basically this trend/wave/philosophy -whatever you want to call it- in which a well-rounded approach to all aspects of life is valued as the new "wealth focus".

I can relate. Don't get me wrong- I know money is important. I live, breathe and have stressed a lot about that all day every day for years.  Somehow I seem to always end up struggling. Having exited my 20's in the throes of the recession (and having always been penny-conscious), I know all too well the value of a dollar and how important it is to have it and prepare for your future as well.

Would I like to own my own home, have good insurance and be able to travel and do all of the things that a bit more money could provide my little family? OF COURSE!!

The concept of wellth, however apparently stems from my generation and those right behind us see that the world is changing startlingly and is already very different from the world for which we were taught to prepare. Therefore, we need to adapt in how we approach it all.

If you look at me for example, on paper, I would look like a total failure of the traditional system of well-being.  I currently have no career to speak of, no children, no insurance, I don't own a home, my IRA is laughable. I can't travel, invest, diversify my portfolio, or have steadily climbed toward "success" in my career. I am a 34 year-old, intelligent college graduate, I am married. I outright own one vehicle. I have student loan debt and "life debt" that is more than what I have in savings. Oof.

But when I look at my life, especially since the big changes in my career over the past 6-8 months, I have noticed one thing in particular: I'm wellth-ier and happier than I have ever been in my adult life and it is astonishing.

This is an enormous thing, friends. I was truly surprised by it as it happened by accident.

Here is how my wellth has grown:

Bye-bye Anxiety.

The flexibility I have had since I quit my "job job" has nearly extinguished the chronic anxiety attacks I had been experiencing for the past few years. If you had told me that three months ago when I was having to stop work and practice deep-breathing every hour or so at the office to keep the rabid squirrel in my gut from scratching its way out- ahem- I would have thought you were legitimately smoking crack.

Q-Time is the Right Time.

I have had more quality time with my friends and family. The word priceless is not grand enough to describe how good that feels.  My myopic focus on work and surviving meant I have had to sacrifice quality time with them (especially over the past five years) due to stress, work hours, exhaustion etc. In the short amount of time I have had more flexibility, I have felt more satisfaction and deep delight with my family and friends than I have felt in a long time, and it is because I'm not worn slap out, stressed out and bitching all the time.

Body (and Booty) Benefits. 

I have been exercising nearly every day and enjoying the hell out of it. I've lost a few pounds and sleep better. I don't crave my bad habits (see wine and chocolate) hardly at all. I even made it through PMS and bought ZERO chocolate! (Who is this person?!) I have started enjoying things in moderation without even trying.

The Buddies.

My two pups are happier. Not only because I can spend more time with them, but because I'm happier. You know the saying "when Mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy"...it's so true. My sweet little stinkers have been better behaved than they have been in years, which in turn means we all enjoy each other and cuddle so much more! Everyone's a winner and since my boys are 11 and 9 years old, the time I spend with them is invaluable.

Dream Weaver. 

I've started dreaming vibrantly again. I was known for this growing up. In high school, my pals would ask me to retell my dreams because they were like crazy action movies. My dreamworld has always been vivid, detailed, exciting and memorable. However, for the past two or so years in particular, they have steadily grown less detailed, less colorful, more stressful and scary and my sleep patterns have suffered. Since my anxiety has started to fade, my dreams have started growing ever more vibrant and  interesting.

Rain Man Says What? 

I've grown less obsessive about our finances. What???? Even though I'm bringing home drastically less money than I was even a month ago, my all day-every day obsessing/balancing/checking bank statements and penny pinching compulsively have all but ceased.

Do I care about our finances? Absolutely!  A part of wellth is balancing life with your financial well-being. There is no throwing caution to the wind and mindlessly trilling "it'll all work out, man." Nope. Only a burgeoning sense of balance. 

Have I felt compelled to spend money? Not really and it surprised me. We've eaten on the cheap and yes, sometimes it's boring but I haven't felt neglected or "punished" as we often felt in our financial feast/famine cycle of before.

I check the bank account once a day to make sure everything is in order and then I leave it be. I make conscious choices, when I do buy, I buy on sale. I work on my Etsy store and freelance work at the times I'm at my best instead of being too tired to think when I get home at the end of the day and doing nothing that enriches my life, sparks my creativity or engages my mind.

I buy things we need first instead of "wants" and that has surprisingly made me feel less worried about the future because I know the most important things are taken care of. It seems super common sense, and it is- but I can't say that this model in particular ever occurred to me. It has created a cycle for me in which, due to that anxiety being removed, I make fewer choices based on reactive emotions  and in turn, make better choices and have still been able to save money and pay down debt!

Productivity thy name is Balance. 

I've been making jewelry. Something I haven't done in years. I've felt inspired again. I finally wrote out an intensive business plan/proposal for a business I've wanted to have for 25 years. I've been keeping my house cleaner than I have in half a decade which actually makes me happier. My skin and hair look better. My relationships grow stronger.

I've almost broken my habit of waking up in a fit of dread because I have to go to work somewhere that pays great but makes me deeply unhappy. Old habits die hard, what can I say?

What a glorious sense of WELLTH indeed. Yes, I know that I will need to get back out there and take a job I don't love again for a while because it's what is right for us at the moment. The hubs graduates this week and we everything is up in the air about where he'll be working or where we may be going (or not). I know I'll take something positive from all of this not-knowing. It does throw this all into stark contrast, however.

I've had a taste of the good life. A beautiful world in which I have time for the things and people I love instead of just dreaming about it. It feels magical. I have dreamed of having a life and career balanced in such a way for decades and I actually wondered if it could happen. Now I know it can. I will have to do some stuff I don't like (big whoop- such is life) until I can manifest the career I want for myself. But I can do it.

I can. I can. I can.

It makes me emotional to even say it aloud.

 I've discovered that flexibility is a key factor in my work happiness and in turn, life happiness and balance. 

I've discovered that my wellth is true and will lead to all aspects of my life (especially including finances) growing healthier and stronger due to the fact that my brain, heart and psyche are all happier and humming along.

Balance begets growth. I'm all about it, y'all!

How is your wellth, friends? Here are a few links if you're interested in learning more about what "wellth" can mean.

• Wealthy. Wellthy. 
• Wellth is the new Wealth. 
• Deliciously Ella on Wellth. 
• Wellth by Jacob Wachob. 

The adventures of Lulu & the KonMari Method!

Progress, baby!

For those of you who read pretty regularly, you will remember that I have mentioned this book several times in the past. Well, funnily enough, my Mom bought it for herself and immediately became motivated to reduce her belongings.

Last week, she loaned me the book to read. I knew I would love it, because the book Scaling Down was a huge influence on me in the past and a motivator to do this tiny house experiment. I didn't realize how illuminating and special Marie's book would become to me (and funny too!). It has motivated me to try the "great purge" experiment, in order, and follow all the steps to find my "click point". That is the point in which you discard, donate, remove by identifying the items that "spark joy" instead of just throwing stuff out. By identifying the joyful items, "the getting rid of" becomes sooooo much easier and more rewarding and you find your personal level (click point) in which you are joyous by your home and belongings and don't feel the itch to acquire more. All I could think as I read that idea was... I want that.

I have been on the quest for balance and peace for years and most recently have made great strides in figuring out ways to make it happen for me. My favorite part of the read was where I am asked to envision the life you live in your head and solidify it. Descriptive and clear details as if you already have that life instead of dreaming of it. I did so (I won't share, as those kinds of things are kind of personal). But basically I kept finding a pattern in the words I used. Clean, peaceful, sanctuary, well-appointed, cosy, bright, happy. I felt so good reading over it that I wrote this down in my notebook: "May 12, begin the project by going through your clothing and loungewear. Be ruthless."

As the week dragged on and the book got better and better, I started becoming anxious and little kid- excited about pulling all of my clothing into one place, identifying whether it sparks joy or not then removing it if it doesn't (you also must thank each item you get rid of for teaching you something or fulfilling its duty- hokey but it totally works psychologically). Yesterday was the day (and my day off incidentally) and I happily took my hiney to the storage unit (my ultimate goal is to reduce that bad boy by 2/3 and get a smaller, less expensive unit this summer) and pulled out all of my clothes (not jewelry or shoes). I brought them to my little cabin and spread it all out on the front porch.

It was quite the ride to hold each item in my hands and find the joy (or not). It felt good to grow the pile of donations piece by piece as well. In the end I counted that I owned 154 items (scarves, belts, tops, bottoms, dresses, lingerie, layering pieces, coats etc.). Here are the stats (now be aware that I have much less than I did a year ago as I have been getting rid of stuff actively since then but even after all that, I was still shocked by the excess):

Tops: 43

Bottoms (pants, skirts): 13

Layering pieces: 15

Scarves, Hats & Belts: 24

Lingerie: 17

Dresses: 11

Coats: 3

Swimsuit/Robes: 4

The halfway point!

After I took a good look at everything, I added a few more things to the donate pile and threw a few things away too. In total, I ended up giving away 40 clothing items (and three hangers) and throwing away 21 for a total of 64 items removed from my house/storage. I kept 93 items (three of which I can only keep if I get them repaired).

I have a feeling I'll get rid of even more as the process goes on. But still! 40% of my wardrobe has been removed (in an hour and a half) and I don't feel like I am missing a single thing. Seriously! There isn't one thing I miss or have thought about since and I'm a sentimental fool, y'all! I also know every single item by heart that is in storage (fall/winter) and anything I forget about will get tossed or donated as I come across it throughout this process.

All in all, this feels incredible and I am so excited about going through more and making space for my life to blossom to new potentials (can one pluralize 'potential' I wonder?). I'll post more about it as it goes along!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Announcement

Little Pink Houses for you and me.

Sometimes you just have to take time for yourself. Right now is one of those times, but don't you worry! I'm just codependent enough to still post every Friday (and once or twice a week too). For the next 2-4 weeks, the hubs and I will be moving into a new (very tiny) house and well- things are nuts at work too...so's I need the headspace!

We will be reducing our possessions by two thirds. That alone is daunting and terribly exciting. I'm also taking this time for some personal experiments (more on that later). All in all, I will be posting intermittently until May. Then I'll be back to my old hijinks. So don't touch that dial, or do, but dial it back here at least once a week for your dose of positivity!

I can't wait to share this upcoming adventure with you guys!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

3 questions.

Sometimes the decisions aren't that tough to make after all. What will you let go of?

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Thoughts on pulling the trigger...so to speak...

Kat's Daily Inspiration

Things I've been needing to make decisions about:

1. Finding a house.

2. My fitness & health.

3. Job/Career

Things I have been obsessing about or sabotaging:

1. Finding a house.

2. My fitness & health (beer...why you so yummy?)

3. Job/Career.

Coincidence? Methinks not. But, why oh why oh why oh?

Mostly because I'm overwhelmed with a smattering of fear. Partially because the last time I just went and did something about 2 of the 3 of those, it ended up being great for what we needed then but every attempt to progress afterward quickly felt like quicksand. As for fitness and health...I'm getting there and will not beat myself up about having a bit of a hitch in my giddy-up. I just need to light a fire, so to speak.

Decide.

So here's what I want and here's what I'm doing about it:

1. I want a house that fills our needs and doesn't break the bank. We are actively looking and (I'm) trying to convince the hubs that the right thing will feel right (as that tends to lead us to good things anyway). Instead of forcing something that is sort of right but mostly not.

2. Just doing it. Making the healthy snacks so I don't buy 37 peanut butter-filled chocolate bunnies. Doing the exercise because I want to feel good in pretty clothes this summer (and always). Going to bed early yadda yadda (and limiting the yummy beer too).

3. I want to do something for a career that I'm passionate about. Writing, creating, and helping people. I see it's possibility glimmering in the distance and I want to grab it and hold on to it forever. Also, I'm aware that bills need to be paid, and I'd prefer to do something in the meantime that isn't so hard on my body, emotions and psyche as my current gig. Is that asking too much? Anyway, I'm actively looking for something new. Also, I'm choosing to ignore the biased and unsolicited advice of a few close to me that prefer that I settle because it would directly affect their job if I left. I'm choosing also, to work more fervently on my personal passions. I need to and I've put them off for a long time.

Y'all, I am tired of feeling bogged down. Do you ever feel that way? I honestly believe that I could be living the life I want to live every day starting now. I just have to take it one day at a time and stop bitching about the things I want to change and just...pull the ever-lovin' trigger, you know?

What could you pull the trigger on in your life? I'd love to know!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Gossip Fast Results!

Sorry about yesterday, guys! Sometimes a gal has just gotta sleep! The time change has thrown me off more than I expected and I spent two nights worrying about whether or not to rent an apartment the hubs and I looked at (we decided not to). However, yesterday I was supposed to fill y'all in on my Gossip Fast!

Well, I'd have to say I'd give myself a B. It's super hard to turn a conversation away from gossip when the people you are around 40 hours a week really want to gossip. A few even asked if I was feeling okay because I was trying so hard to skate around gossip. Ha! I guess that's a success! Anyway, here's my little breakdown (which I'm pretty sure no one but me cares about but hey! I read this every day too).

Thursday: A, I redirected someone gossiping at work to talk about nice things about that person instead, but it was more challenging than I thought!

Friday: C, This kinda fell within the parameters of "if they heard me, I would feel bad." It wasn't gossip, but opinions. However it still didn't feel good and there was no helpful reason for me to express those opinions.

Saturday: B, rocked it out at work and afterward. Minus one comment about someone a friend of mine was about to start working with.

Sunday: A, and it was a really nice day too.

Monday: B, did a good job but could have done better.

Tuesday: C, chatted with a friend and it snowballed a teeny bit and I sounded a bit gossipy. Also, made fun of an ex-boyfriend and felt bad about it immediately. I don't know why I try to make people laugh when I'm nervous. It's so frustrating!

Wednesday: A, did a good job! Didn't say anything I wouldn't have been embarrassed if someone overhead what I said and redirected gossip at work to positive stuff!

All in all, I need to work harder at it, but I made progress. It's incredible how gossip is so deeply woven into conversations. Multiple times a day at work I heard people saying something about other people. Even just passersby. It was a bit daunting to witness, and heaven knows what they say about me... The point is I want a more positive life and I will work hella harder to make my part of it more positive. What are you going to do?

Have a truly wonderful day!

Thoughts on Derailment

Stay on track!

I've said before that when I get going with big changes in my life that inevitably within a week or two something happens that I feel derails me. Well, last week there was an attempt of derailment and I'm weathering it pretty well. Not marvelously but well, and here are the reasons why I consider myself succeeding:

*I'm not giving up. That's the main thing. But also...

*Just because an incident throws me off-kilter doesn't mean that it's a total loss for the goals I'm working toward. Like realizing I'd not only gained back three of the pounds I'd lost in January but also gained three more! It made me work harder this week and make better choices instead.

*Going to bed when I'm tired instead of doing the things on my to-do list doesn't mean I've broken the cycle and can't get back on track the next day. I worked a few really exhausting shifts last week and partnered with the time change, my body just needed more rest. All the things on my to-do list are getting done (though it's at a slower rate) and I will not beat myself up for it. Though my subconscious mind did try to tell me I was being lazy, I knew that I just needed some self-care time.

*I did one small thing even when I felt like that dark wave I mentioned yesterday was creeping up. Instead of beating myself up, I did two minutes of sit-ups. I really did that! Instead of going to bed feeling like I'd failed because I didn't do the things on my to-do list, I tidied the bathroom counter after I brushed my teeth so when I woke up, it'd look nice.

And that's the thing. Progress isn't black and white. It isn't a staircase as much as it is a ramp. Just keep on truckin' y'all! Don't give up on your goals! You can do it, and so can I!

Have a wonderful and productive day!

A Gossip Fast

Pssst.

Ugh. Gossip is the worst. I don't know one person who doesn't do it. Some of my guy friends are the worst culprits too, but I'm right up there and so are a lot of other women I know. A bit of news is one thing, but lately I've been noticing all the bad juju gossip coming out of people's mouths (mine included). I go through phases of noticing it too. Sometimes it just rolls right past me, other times I feel stuck in it like the tar sands.

It's human too, I've noticed. People need to feel connected and sometimes the quickest way to connect is to bash the same thing. Movies, etc. But- straight up gossip sucks. It's toxic and dangerous. I caught myself the other day making a little gossipy remark about a mutual someone and afterward I thought..."I should call (the friend I was gossiping with) and ask her not to mention what I said to anyone." How crappy is that?! I then scorned myself. If I'm worried about someone hearing my snarky opinion then I shouldn't be saying it all willy-nilly! Totally common sense, but I feel it is not at all common practice.

So, with that- I'm taking a gossip fast for one week. Everyday harmless chit-chat is fine, but if it turns ever so slightly to the "dark side" or if I'd be embarrassed if the person in question heard what I was saying then it's a no-go!

Do you think you could do it? I know a lot of people who say they don't gossip but I've heard them do it regularly! Being mindful of the effects of what we say is one way to control the overall ecosystem we choose to exist in. I'm all about the positive and healthy ecosystem so I'm working harder on my part of it. Care to join me? I'll write how it went for me after the one week is up (Wednesday the 11th)! Cheers!

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Thoughts on Time Part 5

Alright friends, today's the last day of my series on time management and it is a long one- but it's worth it! I know I've learned a lot, have you? Well, today I have four simple tips that are usually reserved for organizing and decluttering projects that are, in fact, extremely helpful for time management. But I also have a breakdown of how to apply everything we've learned so far. So, without further ado...here we go!

Apples & Oranges.

#1. Group like with like.

This helps not only with organizing your stuff, but also with your tasks. Instead of running errands on different ends of the planet all the time, group tasks, chores and errands into categories. I also like to plan a route so that I a) save gas b) save money c) save time d) save my sanity. Keep this in your mind, there will be a visual example at the end of the post!

...

               

#2. Divide and conquer!

As with grouping like with like, dividing tasks into workable groups or sub-groups helps to take huge chunks out of your list with far greater ease than if you just made the list and started going with bullet point number one and worked your way down. Threes work for me. Three types of things that need to get done. I can look at that and take whatever is in the group I choose first and knock it out. Keep this in your head too, kiddos! It's all going to be revealed to you visually shortly.

#3. Handle things once.

This has been a huge help to me. I had a boss say it at work almost ten years ago and it has stuck with me. I've always been kind of a walks-in-circles kind of person. I live a lot in my head and when I get overstimulated especially I have a tendency to wander. It's taken a lot of hard work to teach myself to just pick that thing up and put it away where it belongs and be done with hit. In the past I would have carried it through every room of the house before I found a place that didn't bug me as much. It works with possessions, paperwork, and especially tasks on your to-do list. If you sit down and dedicate a given amount of time to a task and just get it done, it won't haunt you or grow bigger or nag you and make you feel bad or overwhelmed. It will have simply been handled, once. Handling something once can be done every day too. So instead of checking emails 34 times a day, do it once at a given time...period. Unbelievable time saved.

Cut it out!

#4. Ruthlessly cut away the unimportant.

I've touched on this a bit when I explained time thieves. However, a lot of unimportant things occupy our "to-do" lists. There are a million things we all do that aren't necessary but for some reason we still waste/piddle time away doing them! Think back to that time audit you did...where is your time going? What are the things that are unnecessary, outdated, annoying, or unimportant that you could cut from your life?

I know I waste time complaining about work. If I added up all the time I spend in a week bitching about stuff that happened at work and put it toward learning to sew (something I've longed to master for years), I'd be making a garment or decorative pillow a week (and I'm not kidding)! Or I could have put out a dozen more applications for another job in the meantime until my creative things take off more. I have to learn to cut the unimportant things too. We all do.

And don't worry, baby steps are the most important steps of all!!

So that brings me to a visual example of all the things that I have talked about these three weeks. Here's the summary:

1. Time management is energy management. AKA, Know thyself.

2. Develop a sleep routine and start getting to bed (and waking up) earlier. It's what the cool kids are doing.

3. Use the concept of "control" a little more wisely. Time management is about working smarter, not adding more stuff to do so you have no peace. Peace and joy are the goals here, people!

4. Write everything down and utilize a calendar. 

5. Determine what is urgent vs. what is personal priority.

6. Get the no-fun stuff done first, freeing up more time for the stuff that makes you happy and fulfills you!

7. Plan. Plan for tomorrow, then have a contingency plan (or two).

8. Delegate.

9. Learn to say "No."

No.thank.you.

10. Eliminate (or greatly reduce) distractions.

11. Be aware of your time thieves.

12. Focus on the tasks that will accomplish the most (the Pareto Principle).

13. Do a time audit. See where your time really goes (be honest!).

14. Learn how long it takes you to accomplish your tasks and be real about that too.

15. Schedule time to relax. Leave room for the joys of life!

16. Group like with like. 

17. Divide & conquer!

18. Handle things once. Even if its every day.

19. Ruthlessly cut away the unimportant. 

Here's a to-do list for my day off as an example. Before time management and after...

Before

1. grocery shop for the week (U)

2. do laundry (U)

3. get oil changed in car (U)

4. write blog posts for Monday and Tuesday. (PP)

5. make dinner (U)

6. pick up Mom's birthday gift (PP)

7. get hair cut (PP)

8. check emails and respond (U)

9. clean upstairs bathroom (full clean) (U)

10. wash the pup (PP)

11. call out of town friend to catch up (PP)

12. work on sewing project (STG)

13. call Credit Union with questions about IRA. (LTG)

I went ahead and added identifiers to the list to immediately indicate which items are urgent, which are personal priorities, and which were either short-tern or long-term goals. 

After

Morning: Out of house errands (arranged in a horseshoe/circular pattern so the first and last tasks are closest to home). Starting at 8:30 a.m.:

1. get oil changed and use the wait time to...

     *call CU with IRA ?'s (should take 5 minutes). 

     *call out of town friend to quickly catch up (5-10 minutes).

2. get hair cut

3. pick up Mom's birthday gift.

4. grocery shop for the week (30-45 minutes).

Early afternoon: In-house tasks. Starting around 12:15 p.m.:

5. start first load of laundry and...

6. prep food and snacks for dinner and lunches (30-45 minutes)

     *switch out laundry and...

7. assemble dinner in the crock pot or oven 

     *switch out laundry and put away. (30-45 minutes)

8.while upstairs and laundry is put away...

     *use the time upstairs to clean the bathroom (takes 30 minutes for full clean).

Late afternoon: In-house tasks:

9. check emails and respond while last load of laundry dries. (30 minutes or so).

10. work on Monday and Tuesday's blogs (30 minutes for Monday & 15 for Tuesday). 

11. Finish up the last of the laundry and put away. (30-45 minutes)

You are done. It's about 4:35 p.m. and the rest of the night is free to do what makes me happy like work on that sewing project I've been wanting to do or getting in a little yoga. I can have New Girl or The Mindy Project streaming in the background as I do so too! The things that make me truly happy get a chance now, all because I got all that no-fun and urgent stuff out of the way in a well-thought out manner. I bet you'd feel better with those big, urgent ones out of the way as well as those personal priorities too.

Exactly how I feel now after my to-do lists!

Do you think you'll use any of these ideas? I know I have been incorporating them bit by bit every day. I hope this series has helped, y'all! And I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Thoughts on Time (Part 2)

Through the Looking Glass

Happy Monday, y'all! I hope your weekend has been wonderful! Hopefully you didn't have to go to work today (I've been told it's a holiday), but if you did- you have my sincerest sympathy and understanding!)

Well last week, I wrote this post about the more "bigger picture" aspects of time management. Today, I'm breaking down a few organizational aspects of time management. Some of these ideas are super simple, some are common sense and others are maybe not fun, but they pay off. Here we go!

Keep it simple, Sister!

#1. Write it all down & Utilize a calendar.

Contrary to popular belief (particularly in the world of "time management" research), one does not need anything fancy or expensive to do this (even that stuff seen above). It's fine if that's what helps you feel more productive, but it doesn't work for me and in reality is so completely unnecessary. To me, it is a way to distract from the real tasks at hand by occupying my mind with the project that has to occur before being able to do the real work of organizing. 

To rephrase: I can't organize my time better because I don't have a $300 Filofax organizational system. I'll spend two weeks compiling everything I need to be organized then I'll really get started."

Ugh. Just write it down. Write down all the things you need to do. Write down your daily stuff, write down your short term goals, write down your long term goals. Write down important bill dates etc. project/event/appointment dates too. Stop avoiding it. Get out a calendar and a steno pad and just do it. After you get it all down, you can organize it however you want. First things first, though. 

Also, you must remember that to manage your time better, you have to tend to it regularly. You have to sit down five minutes a day or a half hour a week (whatever works with your headspace) and update, change, move around, rearrange and re-prioritize your goals and tasks etc. Which brings me to the next point.

Dr. Evil loves air quotes just as much as I do.

#2. Determine what is urgent (versus personal priority).

Sure it will be scandalously gratifying to spend three hours tending to a project on your to-do list. Crossing it off the list feels so good! But if you did that and didn't go to the grocery store before a busy week ahead, you are setting yourself up for time management failure. Balance is paramount.

Determining what is urgent (sitting down and doing your taxes, making sure your car is cared for before a road trip, getting the week's groceries purchased and prepped for that long week ahead, getting your kid's school play costume started (instead of binge-watching House), getting a just rough draft of your Great American Novel completed etc.

Those are bigger picture items that get you to a better place so that you have the time to work on other things like: making your bathroom cabinets look Pinterest-worthy, learning how to do a perfect fishtail braid, watching the latest episode of Downton, or spending a few hours delving into the backstory of a character you're workshopping for that Great American Novel. You get my point? No? Let me put it another way:

Party on, Wayne!

#3. Get the no-fun stuff out of the way first and earliest in the day.

Otherwise said by no lesser a sage than Wayne Campbell from Wayne's World (paraphrased of course): "It's like rushing home on Friday after school and getting all your homework done early so the rest of the weekend, you're free to party."

Simply stated: You'll feel buttloads better getting the no-fun stuff done early which makes the rest of your day feel so conquerable! It is a positivity snowball that gives you piles and piles of more time at the end of the day for the things you want to do; the things that make you happiest and bring you the most satisfaction and joy! 

That's what we're all after in the end, isn't it?!

Yep.

#4. Plan. Plan for tomorrow, then have a contingency plan (or two).

I can tell you hardly no other thing about time management that helps more than this simple idea. And yes, I'm familiar with the colloquial saying "the surest way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans".

However, planning has gotten a bad rep. It seems to be associated with mouse-eyed Type-A's that can't seem to remove the stick from their ass no matter how badly they need to. Real life planning isn't like that.

This is what planning is:
*Making a meal plan for your week, allowing for wiggle room in case a last-minute celebratory outing with friends, family or kids pops up. This kind of planning frees up major money so more fun life stuff is possible.

*Planning is keeping a bag in the trunk of the car that has bottles of water, granola bars and a change of clothes in case there is an emergency or your car breaks down in July and AAA is delayed due to a bizarro pickle truck flipping over on the opposite side of the interstate.

*Planning is keeping a spare box of pasta noodles and spaghetti sauce in the pantry in case one week you have an unexpected bill and can't afford your typical fare. Or a friend is sick and you want to do something for her family while she's stuck in bed. Boom. No extra money needed and you've done a nice deed for someone you love.

Planning isn't filling every single moment of every day and evening with some task, project, event, sport, hobby, etc. The goal of planning is to simplify- to quiet. Not to occupy or busy oneself.

 And that's another thing! Planning is just taking the time to anticipate what can't be anticipated so when life happens (AND IT ALWAYS DOES, Y'ALL!), you aren't derailed. You aren't standing on the side of the interstate waiting for AAA in 100 degree weather, ready to pass out from dehydration (I use this example because I've had that happen and thank goodness I had water in the car)!

If you plan properly, you can be super flexible and enjoy all (or at least more) of life's little curveballs. Sometimes curveballs are the best thing ever, but only if you can manage your stuff enough to be able to glean the positive from each situation!

Alright, okay. That's enough of a lesson for today. I do have a lot left to say on the topic though, so stay tuned for Wednesday's update. Time management doesn't have to be daunting if you approach it with good headspace. Seriously. A little goes a long way toward having the life you want. I know because I'm doing it myself after years and years of struggling.

Check ya later, pals! I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

My pal Vicky.

Celebrating victories one confetti sprinkle at a time!

I used to write about this regularly. I would share the little victories I accomplished over the week with y'all and ask for some to be shared with me. I stopped only because I felt like I was tooting my own horn too much and that it may be boring to read about!

However, it is super important to claim your victories, no matter how small. Especially if when you're right in the moment. Take the second it requires to look around you and realize you are in the middle of a victory! Whether it be that you ate more vegetables today than yesterday, subbed a glass of water for your fourth coffee. Perhaps you left for work an five minutes early so you missed that one long light that always makes you late; or you kept your mouth shut in a situation when you normally would have gossiped or said something snarky or judgmental.

So many things can be a victory and every victory adds up to big, beautiful changes. I know that is what I'm craving and working toward, so I thought I'd share it with y'all. It's just on my mind, you know?

What little victories have you had lately? I'd love to hear about them!

A is for...

Go on! Jump in, y'all and get muddy!

Happy Wednesday, friends! How is your week going? I'm back at work today after a very pleasant and productive two days off (could use about 29 more to be honest). I've been in my head a lot these past several weeks. Even through the static and of-no-good-use derailment last week, I've had a lot floating around my head about my life, career, skills (or lack thereof), things I want to accomplish, fears, friends, family, BMI, money, recipes, apartment hunting...well, I could have stopped with "a lot of things" but I think you follow me.

I've mentioned before that I've been meditating. It helps tremendously for me, and yes it takes a bit of practice; but now I look forward to it everyday (especially my before work and after lunch mini-meditations). Since the derailment last week, I've been looking for ways to improve upon my mini-meditations and get more bang for my buck particularly when I'm stressed or in a work situation I don't care for. While searching, I stumbled upon an article in Mind, Body, Green. I like this website most of the time and I have found some pretty, shiny gems there rather regularly.

The 4 A's of Successful Meditation Practice caught my eye for obvious reasons and after reading it, I got to thinking a little bit about those 4 A's and what they really mean when it comes down to the nitty gritty stuff that comes up when left alone with one's thoughts. The 4 A's are as follows:

Awareness

Acknowledgment

Acceptance

Action

In regards to meditation, most people unfamiliar with the practice may be surprised at the depth of the psychological aspects that accompany it. For those who practice, whether you like it or not, you know you come face to face with a lot of things that have been rolling around your ole noodle waiting for a chance to be heard.

Never one to be afraid of my own emotional dust bunnies, I didn't fret about those things bubbling up to the surface as I'd had it happen in previous experiences with meditation (and I sincerely believe that working through that gunk and garbage is worth it). However, the sheer volume has been surprising! Nothing mind-blowing or anything. Just...life stuff.

All of this is to say, friends, that outside of the realm of meditation, one can apply this 4 A's to help with the gunkier more garbagey things in your life. Things like talking disparagingly about yourself or others, sabotaging your healthy goals, lashing out at people when you're upset with something else entirely, drinking to excess, dangerous addictive issues, withholding affection or gratitude for a vague sense of power...you get the picture. Deep down inside you are aware that these things exist within you (and are projected from you). No one is ever truly shocked to find out they do something that hurts themselves or others- there's a voice inside that can never really be shut up. It'll wake you up at 3 am and not allow you to sleep. Blame it on whatever, but eventually- you'll have to listen to that little voice and become aware of the bigger issues at hand.

Acknowledge that little bugger. It may be sitting in your living room for a little while. It'll feel like it's everywhere with you and that's because it is. Until you accept (and try forgiving) the part you played (or someone else did, if that applies) and accept that you are human and guess what? Humans make big stinking, smelly mistakes all day every day. It may not be okay what you're dealing with; but you can be okay with being healthier and happier despite it.

Then take action to change that shit.

Make an effort every day to alter the habits, dark words and thoughts, guilt, shame, and anything else you may be feeling from all that old crappy stuff. Make the littlest change a day, such as giving a compliment to someone when you'd usually keep it to yourself. Apologizing to someone you've hurt in the past, or choosing not to complain about eating this or that in your healthy-eating plan and instead close your eyes and identify the flavors you do like (in carrots for example). Be present in your life. Use those 4 A's to kick the troublesome issues of your big P (your past) right in the ass and out to the curb. Incinerate that nonsense with love, forgiveness and courage.

Working through major and minor emotional issues isn't easy. It can be ugly and you will have to allow yourself the fact that you are/will be vulnerable (and perhaps accept the vulnerability of others while you're at it). You will most likely have to make some big apologies to others and especially yourself. You will ugly cry like Sookie on True Blood (LOVE that ugly cry!). You may rage, you may scream at yourself in your car or at the sky. It's all good. Work through it. Crawl through it. Scrape through it. Then suddenly you'll find yourself in the clear. Aware of a new kind of peace and a bigger slice of happiness than you thought you could stomach beforehand.

Good luck friends. I'm doing it, you can too!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

A funny thing happened on the way to the theatre...

Aquarius.

Now y'all know I've been analyzing things a bit lately. Yesterday I happened upon some information about Aquarians (I happen to be one) and I started laughing out loud and nervously adjusting an invisible tie. A lot of the things I've been trying to work through and deal with (in my attempts at growth and healing), were written right there before my eyes!

I've always kind of listened with one ear to astrology. It's fun and interesting but it isn't for everyone. Anyway, I about fell out of my chair as I read description after description (some not so nice) of my personality and some of the traits I've had troubles with. Here are a few for your enjoyment too (especially if you know me or any other Aquarians):

*"When an Aquarian stresses out about having too much to do, they typically step aside and do nothing at all." I'm super guilty of that and totally have written about it on this very blog!

*"Aquarians hate mind games. Just be straight-up with them." That is currently one of my issues with one of the situations I mentioned on Tuesday's post for heaven's sake! I get so pissed off when people play games. Passive-aggression grinds my gears like nothing else because to me, the games are so blatantly obvious and infuriating and worthless!

*"Aquarians are the most determined when it comes to honesty. If they catch you in a lie, they won't stop until they know the truth." I would add to that we also don't ask a question if we aren't prepared for the honest (sometimes painful) truth and we expect the same (perhaps unfairly sometimes) from the people we engage.

*"Aquarians will do the opposite of what you tell them to do, just to show you who's in control." I will add to that statement: "Unless we smell a trap. Then we just do whatever the hell we wanted to in the first place." We are a "special" group. And that control thing? I've totally done it in varying shades.

*"Aquarians love pleasing others, but you should expect to return the favor. They [deeply] value being treated the way they treat others." Oh yeah. The golden rule, man. It's important!

*"They find humor in a lot of things. Their funny bone gets tickled pretty easily." That could not be more true. I literally giggled as I typed this sentence.

*"Aquarians don't use the terms 'trust' or 'friend' loosely." We give a lot of chances, but when you're out yo, you are out. Period. We'll be civil, but the hands are washed, man.

*"Aquarians are more ruthless than they let on." Yep.

*"When an Aquarian gets mad, no one is safe." It takes a lot to make me mad and when I am...well, I've been told I look like the devil.

*"Aquarians will hide their jealousy. It's weakness in their eyes." I totally slapped my forehead on that one. I've never thought about it like that before but it is exactly how I view jealousy...and big, boastful egos while we're on about it!

*And here's the clincher for me, because it is absolutely my biggest pet peeve and I get all weird when it happens. "Being ignored by someone who's attention means the world to you is the worst feeling." I would add to it that "ignored" really isn't the term I'd use. It's more like if I'm speaking to you and you don't listen or tune me out, it affects us more deeply than it would anyone else [aka a normal person]."


I have to be honest, it was hard to read all the non-flattering descriptions and have them ring very true. I had a few uncomfortable "aha" moments. There were more that I didn't even want to post. But all in all, it was an interesting discovery and it's had me thinking a lot about my current trying situation (mentioned Tuesday) and about how I can handle these traits of mine that are very real and not always pleasant for others to be around. How I can handle my end of the situation in a better way.

It was also a much-needed boost to hear the positive things too. Things about being loyal, honest, truthful, sincere, and loving much more deeply than we sometimes can show. There's a lot going on in my brain and my heart and I just want to do the best and be the best me I can be.

What about y'all? Any Aquarians out there that can relate to any of those descriptions (be honest with yourself!). What sign are you and do you agree with the descriptions of traits? Do you think it's all hogwash? Do you have to admit that every now and then it hits the nail on the head? I'd love to know!

And while I'm at it, y'all, a reminder that it's okay to dig through the uncomfortable, ugly and sticky parts of our personalities. It's important to learn from mistakes, mend things and grow. Be good to yourselves and others. It's as simple as that! I truly hope you have a wonderful day!