Sound barrier.

Alright kiddos- I did something super nutso last week. I up an quit my job. This is not the one I had mentioned last year, but in March I had begun a new job that I was very excited about. For various reasons, it was a big NOPE and here I am. I am not the type to do such a thing and I actually surprised myself. With jobs, I'm the kind of gal who will stay around and whimper for three years before making a move (I'm sure y'all noticed that over the years).

I should feel more afraid than I do. The hubs and I aren't swimming in cash like Scrooge McDuck or anything. However, I have a few options that I am working part-time from home on and hopefully a little something extra on the side to boost our income until the hubs graduates and gets a good welding job.

I learned some interesting things over the past few days. Some I'm proud of and others I don't really know what to do with. One of my biggest fears is that we will be unable to pay our bills. Instead of letting that thought consume me, I'm working on a plan to make this ish work, y'all.

Remember this post? Well, I did.

Thanks to this newfound cavern of opportunity and terror, I will most likely be posting a lot more. Hopefully!

It's been a weird year and my head is still spinning big time, but the air feels fresher, that squirrel in my gut doesn't seem to be digging around as much and I feel inspired. I had forgotten what that actually felt like and it has been a long time coming. I truly believe if I work hard enough and stay positive and be mindful of our lifestyle/expenses etc....I can do this.

My mama always says when a plane is about to break the sound barrier it quakes, rattles and it feels like it's about to explode all around you. Then it breaks the sound barrier and it's smooth and quiet again. Boom, y'all. BOOM!

I have big ideas and I want them to step out of the ether of my mind and manifest "in real life". I am fortunate to have friends and family who love and support and encourage me. So, here goes! Wish me luck. I want to believe I can do it, to truly make it happen.

I'll swing by again soon to give you more soul high-fives!

-L

Thursday Rant

Do you ever feel like you can almost taste big, positive, delicious changes in your life, but you don't know how the heck to get to them? I feel like that pretty much all the time these days. I think it's because I'm actually close, but I honest to goodness feel so overwhelmed and swamped by other people's bullshit at work (and quite possibly my own!) that it gets snatched away at the last minute.

Now my dreams aren't lofty by any means, and yet I find myself treading water more often than not. I'm also not in denial or being negative. I know I have made incredible leaps toward getting things back on track since I lost my job nearly five years ago. However, sometimes I get...ugh! I get so frustrated!

I need to leave my current job because it drives me absolutely effing insane. See this article for reference. And this post. However, I haven't been able to find a job that pays nearly enough to make the move doable. I don't even know where to begin to look for something that isn't linked to crappy job-hunting websites and takes seven months for a response (I'm looking at you, State of Florida jobs and PeoplesFirst) and y'all all remember this from a few weeks ago! It can feel so depressing and daunting, yet I know there is a clever solution somewhere. I know there is a way I can hustle my way into (my idea of) greatness!

But where to start?! I detest this feeling of impotence. Drastic measures may be in order.

Rant completed...for now.

I hope you have a truly wonderful day and if any jobs you don't want fall into your lap, help a sister out!!

The Good & The Bad...

I had every intention of posting a detailed post about bad job interviews and what they teach you. I wrote it yesterday and reread it about fourteen times before I decided I sounded a bit petty (and angry), though the message was good. So instead, I am going to give a reader's digest version of what happened on a bad interview recently and what it taught me.

The Bad: 

Weasel-y interviewer, said he didn't have time for me. He proceeded to insult my education, experience and my actual name. Not a fan of women in general, he apparently finds the fact that women have children inconvenient. Most of this was done quite passive-aggressively with several actual barbs. I also caught him looking at my chest. He told me I basically had the job (because they are desperate). Twice. But, I left feeling defeated as I am quite in need of a career change, but working for that creep wasn't an option. I cried in a diner over scrambled eggs. I felt like a Joan/Peggy hybrid.

The Good:

Some time with my mom and step-dad cheered me up and most of the anger went away. I felt a bit rejuvenated actually. I felt like I was aiming my sights too low anyway and that I should aim for better things. Things that make me a little happier, even if they aren't "my life's work". There is a whole lot out there that would be better than where I am now, and where I could have ended up if I had accepted that job.

Something I love about the KonMari Method I've been so excitedly practicing over the past few weeks is the psychological bent it takes in regard to letting things go. Generally, as with most every human I've ever met, "letting go" doesn't always come easily. I find it's even harder when my feelings get hurt. In the KonMari Method, when you let go of a physical item, you thank it. You either say "thank you, Winter Coat for keeping me warm all of those chilly days" or "thank you Brown Dress, for showing me what styles actually look good on me and which do not". In this case, Mr. Creep is a hideous brown dress I'm throwing out.

What a gift that sad person gave me. He showed me that you have to kiss some frogs before you find the right gig. He also showed me that I'm worth a lot more than the jobs I've been looking for.

Have you any interview horror stories?! Tell me yours and I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Thoughts on pulling the trigger...so to speak...

Kat's Daily Inspiration

Things I've been needing to make decisions about:

1. Finding a house.

2. My fitness & health.

3. Job/Career

Things I have been obsessing about or sabotaging:

1. Finding a house.

2. My fitness & health (beer...why you so yummy?)

3. Job/Career.

Coincidence? Methinks not. But, why oh why oh why oh?

Mostly because I'm overwhelmed with a smattering of fear. Partially because the last time I just went and did something about 2 of the 3 of those, it ended up being great for what we needed then but every attempt to progress afterward quickly felt like quicksand. As for fitness and health...I'm getting there and will not beat myself up about having a bit of a hitch in my giddy-up. I just need to light a fire, so to speak.

Decide.

So here's what I want and here's what I'm doing about it:

1. I want a house that fills our needs and doesn't break the bank. We are actively looking and (I'm) trying to convince the hubs that the right thing will feel right (as that tends to lead us to good things anyway). Instead of forcing something that is sort of right but mostly not.

2. Just doing it. Making the healthy snacks so I don't buy 37 peanut butter-filled chocolate bunnies. Doing the exercise because I want to feel good in pretty clothes this summer (and always). Going to bed early yadda yadda (and limiting the yummy beer too).

3. I want to do something for a career that I'm passionate about. Writing, creating, and helping people. I see it's possibility glimmering in the distance and I want to grab it and hold on to it forever. Also, I'm aware that bills need to be paid, and I'd prefer to do something in the meantime that isn't so hard on my body, emotions and psyche as my current gig. Is that asking too much? Anyway, I'm actively looking for something new. Also, I'm choosing to ignore the biased and unsolicited advice of a few close to me that prefer that I settle because it would directly affect their job if I left. I'm choosing also, to work more fervently on my personal passions. I need to and I've put them off for a long time.

Y'all, I am tired of feeling bogged down. Do you ever feel that way? I honestly believe that I could be living the life I want to live every day starting now. I just have to take it one day at a time and stop bitching about the things I want to change and just...pull the ever-lovin' trigger, you know?

What could you pull the trigger on in your life? I'd love to know!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!