Top Three...good things!

Y'all, I'm going to be honest with you (as I'm wont to do ad nauseum).  I've been having a hard time at the new job. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's been a challenging first two weeks. Deeply challenging. I'm not sure what's in the cards, if it's a match and suddenly will click into place (I've had it happen before), or if it's just a royally screwed lemon. Time will tell, but if you've been wondering where the heck I've been, I hope that helps explain it.

Not that all things are bad. Nay, good happens every day! What are my Top Three good things that happened and/or exist today? Funny you should ask, because!

#1. There is a chill in the air every morning that is the whisperiest whisper of FALL!!!!! It feels so amazing even though it's a blistering sauna by 5:30 every day. It's still coming!!!

#2. I have been able to laugh even though I've wanted to punch walls and/or cry every ten minutes. No seriously! I've had at least a dozen decent giggle fits today! Nothing like it. Best drug there is!

#3. I've had my sweet boys around me all night. Little, Big, and Papa. I sure do love those rascals. They make me feel loved even when I want to get all Incredible Hulk.

(The Hubs is gonna be so mad I posted this, but I love this picture of my guys giving me their "intense look").

That's it for me today. I am definitely trying to have more of a presence this week and I do so apologize for the sparseness lately.

X's & O's, y'all! I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

The Big One.

Throwback Thursday, 2009. Dancing in my apartment in my favorite jammies and favorite fuzzy hat. Somethings never change. 

Well y'all! It's hard to believe, but it's been one year since my semi-meltdown/rant and attempt at gaining more positivity in my life by starting this little blog. Exactly one year ago, I was dealing with a work situation that was toxic at BEST. I was paying too much in rent and making unhealthy choices. I was also 18 lbs. over where I was most comfortable with.

So much has changed and yet so little too! It's definitely a world away from where I was a mere 241 posts ago. For that, I'm super grateful. The hubs and I are healthier. We pay much less rent for our cute little tiny house too! The job situation has improved a bit and I even lost a few pounds too!

I try not to worry about the future as much as put forth the effort to ensure the utmost appreciation of it. That's my wish for this next year. To make the most of each and every single day so that when the future does arrive (as it tends to if we're lucky), the little chips I made in the stone will be revealing some pretty sparkly gems.

To you, lovely friends and loyal readers, thank you for joining me on this ride. It has definitely had its ups and downs. Format changes, ideas that never were realized and multitudes that have been. But I've had fun and I know y'all have too now and then.

I hope to keep you smiling and thinking positively in the next year as well!

I truly hope you have a wonderful day!

Friday Happies!

Friday rainbow!

Hello my lovely dearies! What's your plan for the weekend? I'll be trucking along at the shop, hopefully it will be drama-free and go by quickly so I can hurry up and enjoy my Monday off! Because I'm super ready for a long hot bath and bed, I'll jump right in to this week's list of happies, funs, pretties, interestings and what-nots to usher you into a rad weekend of happiness and hilarity!

*This guy does 10 second songs in a bunch of different styles. It's a little bit mind blowing.

*I love this guy! Alan Rickman talks about working with strong, talented, brilliant women. Oh you!

*I loved Alice Gao's interview on A Cup of Jo. What great simple style!

*This is one of the funniest artist series I've seen in a minute. "The Distance I Can Be From My Son". 

*This started out as an article that I wanted to roll my eyes about. Parents who think their kids' Minion toys in their Happy Meals were cussing. It turned out to be a great article on words and their meanings and how we, as adults, sometimes cause more harm than good in teaching our children about what's "good" and "bad".

*Bruiser just wanted to belly flop in the pool. He certainly succeeded.

*SO COOL! A Sun Printing Kit!! I want one!

*Weird things couples are thankful for. HA!

*These lovely gals tried on Victoria's Secret bathing suits, and this is what happened!

*A five step guide to Making S--t Happen!

*To Basil on your 10th birthday! My heart!

*Comedians talking about fatherhood.

*Both impressive and creepy! This guy can do makeup so well, he can transform himself into celebrities!

*Common entertaining mistakes and how to avoid them! I've done 'em all, y'all!

*And to round it out, 10 Ways to Remind Yourself You're Worth It!

Awesome! Have a wonderful weekend friends!!

Negativity Detox

A horseshoe for good luck. Wink wink!

A while back, I posted an experiment I tried: The Gossip Fast. In this experiment, I tried, with varying results, to switch conversations at work away from gossip and toward the positive. The rule was "If the person I'm speaking about heard what I was saying, would I feel bad for saying it?". It worked, but after the past two weeks at work, I feel I need a detox, so to speak. I take responsibility for the part I play in it at work, but being surrounded by a half dozen heavy-duty gossipers, it's super challenging finding something to talk about with people you have nothing in common with. I feel its become a habit again and I don't want it to be.

So beginning this very moment, is a two-week gossip fast at work. Hopefully, I can make up for the @*&%storm that has been the ecosystem there lately. Wish me luck! I'd really love to break this wretched cycle.

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Breaking the Radio Silence

Y'all, last week was the lost week for me. You know that phrase "everything that can go wrong, did go wrong"? It was a lot like that except it seemed like it was only about human interaction. There were dramas, arguments, near-rampages and a myriad of other salty, pointy, jabby interactions.

Other than the full moon tomorrow, I haven't a clue what was going on- but due to that intense energy all week long, I just kind of needed a break. To be real, my head was so fuzzy from it that I had nothing of value to say to anyone anyway. I wanted to crawl into a sensory deprivation tank.

But this week is a new week, and today is a new day, I'm happy to report. Things are back on the upswing minus a few moody so's-and-so's at work. What else is new there, amiright? So here are some happy things that have happened over the past week, to remind me (and you, if you're into it) that positivity is still all around even if it feels like everyone is out to get you.

*Dogs all across Nepal showered with love and gifts on June 27th, the day to celebrate dogs! That is so rad.

*In the first three months of this year, Scottish wind turbines produced enough electricity to power 960,000 Scottish homes for an entire year! That's amazing!

*This guy turned eight. Happy birthday, Comodino!

*And the ruling for Marriage Equality! I and my little family are thrilled for it and send all the best wishes and congratulations out there to the throngs of new brides and grooms out there!

I hope y'all have a truly wonderful day, friends! I promise I will be back to somewhat normal soon!

A little something extra!

Julia.

I found this fantastic post on Yes & Yes today and it really tied in nicely with my post from this morning.

Don't you love it when something serendipitous happens like that?

April Challenge Recap and Something New!

One of my favorite pictures I've ever taken. Morning sunrise walk at the lake. 

Well y'all, I did it. I happily skipped through four weeks of this Paleo experiment. This last week was a tough one due to the final stages of the move. However, though I imbibed more wine than usual and processed convenience foods did show up here and there, I'm happy to say I stayed about 60% Paleo (and that's low-balling it).

That being said, I chose not to weigh or measure myself this week. I decided that I was happy with the experiment regardless of this final week's results. I also decided this is something I'm going to stick with for a while. Staying 90% Paleo every day, with plenty of fun exceptions because life is meant to be lived. Oh! And I also got in 46 miles this month too. That's four miles shy of my goal, but I still think it's superb considering I only got in 18 miles in March! Snaps for me!

I enjoyed this challenge very much for several reasons. 1. It was something I wanted to do, not that I told myself I had to do. 2. It offered plenty of creative outlets to get the job done, so I didn't feel stuck. 3. It nourished me, both physically and mentally. I didn't feel restricted or bummed that I couldn't have this or that. I found that approaching changes of any kind (especially health-based ones) require a sense of kindness to oneself. An inner-shift in perspective that leans away from "I've been bad today" kinds of mentalities to "How can I nourish myself better?".

Keeping that in mind all month really did help. Did I eat sweet treats? Hell yeah. Did I eat all of them because I felt I "deserved" it. Nope. I deserved health and nutrition and gave myself that as often as I could. Could I have done better/made better choices? Absolutely! I'm not going to feel bad that I ate Rice Dream ice cream bites. I'm not going to feel bad that I had delicious fried chicken either. Or that that new wine I tried was deee-licious (though I admit that sticking to one glass is probably best for me- hello mid-30's wine headaches!).

All in all, I'm thrilled to keep this going for the month of May. Now that the hubs and I are finally moved in and getting organized, my kitchen is once again my sanctuary. I have scores of recipes I want to try and now I have the chance to do it. Yay!

I've also decided that I want to try a fun challenge every month. For May I want to commit to 5 minutes of arm exercises every day. I dream of having Angela Bassett arms, but I'm perfectly happy toning up my little spaghetti noodles for some confident sleevelessness.

May also ushers in my return to regular blog posts. It's been so weird not having this place to go to for random thoughts, philosophies and what-nots. So, you'll be hearing a lot more from me from now on.

Well, What do you think? Wanna try my May challenge with me? I'd love to know!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day, y'all!

Week 3 Update!

A picture I took in Apalachicola in August, 2014.

Hey y'all! I'm brighter eyed and bushy-tailed today than I was yesterday, wowsers! We are in the home stretch (no pun intended) of the moving game and I'm loving my new little house. We're trying to make it feel as much like a little beach cabin in The Keys as a little shotgun house from the 1940's in North Florida can feel. It's less than 800 square feet (but feels even smaller somehow). Ha!

Anyway, I wanted to give you guys an update on the progress I've made with my experiment with Paleo and getting into better shape physically and dietetically. Week three had its major challenges for various reasons. One, the moving. My stuff is everywhere and then some. Two, it was a really busy week at work and I got to help my mom with an art show (which was awesome, but busy). Three, going going going and not taking time to just be takes its toll on you. And it did for me last week. But, I digress.

Day 15: I did great all day, had dinner with a friend (which included some yummy potatoes, tofu and wine). I was also a cranky little B so apologies (again) friend for being such a party pooper!

Day 16-18: I did great all day, though I wish I had prepared more meals for myself. I mostly snacked all day throughout the week. The difference being: WINE. Not much, but I had one to two glasses every night. Oh and a small portion of fried chicken because I'm a human being.

Day 19: Tornado watches and severe storms. We ordered a pizza and cinnamon sticks and it was magical. Though my tummy did not agree! However, instead of blowing the whole day like I did the first two weeks I planned a "fun day", I let myself have a little treat every night. I could have done less, but whatevs.

Day 20: I had one beer with dinner and the rest of the day was terrific and easy.

Day 21: I did terrific all day and evening and had a half a beer, but it tasted gross so I gave it to my husband in exchange for my big fluffy bed that was calling my name instead.

So what are the results?

I lost major inches this week! Mind you, I walked/jogged every day (even the days I was working the art show, I still got some miles in) and it rained all weekend too (still did it! Proud of myself for that).
I lost two inches off my belly and a quarter inch of my arms as well as a half inch from my legs. I gained a half a pound, but I'm not worried about that. Hormones, plus a little more wine than usual and a half pound gain is a fair price to pay.

I'm thrilled to be in the fourth week of the challenge.

My goals:
Walk/job 17 miles (that will put me at 50 miles for the month!!).
Get back to my nightly yoga (I did zero yoga this week and I can feel it. It's probably another reason I've been feeling like I need to sleep all the time).
Make at least two meals for us this week. I made this (with no coconut flour) last week because of chocolate cravings and they were better than delicious. YUM!

Any goals for yourself for this week, guys? I'd love to know! I truly hope you have a wonderful day!!

200!!

Spring sunrise at the lake by my house.

Hey friends! Today is my 200th post on P&PPS! That's so bananas, because it feels like just yesterday I was writing the first, then the 100th! I'm so grateful to y'all out there who read this and have been hanging out with me on my pursuit of balance, peace and positivity! A big kiss on the forehead to all y'all!

Things have been pretty hectic on my end with a wedding, Easter, work stuff and moving into a new house. However, I'm here to post an update on the "Paleo" experiment (and apologize for no Friday post last week, after I teased it and everything! Mea culpa mea culpa!). I promise to have one whiz-bang doozy of a Friday Happies this week to make it up to ya.

To the update!

I thought last week was going to be more challenging than it was, I really did. The first three days were the easiest. The challenges came in trying to eat out or grabbing something quick from a store when my blood sugar plummeted while moving. I did okay, but it sure seems like EVERYTHING has added sugar in it these days. Geesh.

I made Pineapple Pulled Pork in the crock pot earlier in the week and it really was a lifesaver. The hubs ate it on bread and I devoured it as is for my lunches at work. I also made this Enchilada Stew which satiated both our appetites and was completely on track to boot! Daily smoothies and non-dairy, crustless mini quiches kept me going in the early parts of the day as did having an avocado or banana with honey for snacks in that weird between time before dinner. Carrots (being my favorite snack) and a Paleo'd version of these Pumpkin "Cookies" were my go-to for sweet treats, which surprisingly really did the trick!

The 4th was my cousin's wedding and I stayed true all day until the dinner reception in which there was nary a Paleo option to be found. It wasn't one of the days I had planned on loosening the reigns, but it was okay. Flexibility and a positive outlook are super important in a life change such as this. I had a champagne toast, a couple beers and a Southern-style dinner topped off with one bite of each wedding cake. All in all, not too bad (and zero guilt).

The 5th was Easter and was my total fun day. I stayed on point until I got to my Mom's (which was my plan), and the meal they had planned was like 80% on my track anyway (handy for me!), so other than deviled eggs, wine and dessert, that day was nailed and thoroughly enjoyed.

Then the 6th day came. I had no trouble with sugar or cold beer cravings until this day. I guess because the sugar was still in my system, my body went into HEROIN mode. The wigged out cells in my body kept telling my brain that I wanted- nay, NEEDED sugar when I really didn't. I found myself craving the weirdest, sugariest stuff that I haven't had in years! I didn't give in (though the cravings were intense, needless to say) because inside I knew it wasn't real. However, that really made me pay attention to the shock my body goes through whenever I eat/imbibe processed foods/sugars.

Yesterday was the 7th day and other than having had to fast for a blood test, my cravings were pretty much silent again. I did make the mistake of going to the grocery store hungry and without meaning too, my eyes grew wide at the sight of fried chicken; but I'm Southern. My eyes always do that because I was brought up right.

All of this is to say friends (and drum roll please)...I lost five and a half pounds in the first week, a half inch off my thighs and bum!!! Now, I'm no dummy. I've also been walking 20 minutes every morning and taking a 30-day yoga challenge every evening. But it's all added up to a pretty stupendous-feeling success!

I'm geared up for week number two! Care to join me?! I'd love to know!

I truly hope you have a wonderful day! Also, a HAPPY 54th BIRTHDAY to my B! I love you!

Two choices.

I don't know why I just needed to read something like this today. I hope that it resonates with you all too. Perhaps, there are no excuses today after all? Methinks of all the possibilities!

I truly hope you have a wonderful day!

A Gossip Fast

Pssst.

Ugh. Gossip is the worst. I don't know one person who doesn't do it. Some of my guy friends are the worst culprits too, but I'm right up there and so are a lot of other women I know. A bit of news is one thing, but lately I've been noticing all the bad juju gossip coming out of people's mouths (mine included). I go through phases of noticing it too. Sometimes it just rolls right past me, other times I feel stuck in it like the tar sands.

It's human too, I've noticed. People need to feel connected and sometimes the quickest way to connect is to bash the same thing. Movies, etc. But- straight up gossip sucks. It's toxic and dangerous. I caught myself the other day making a little gossipy remark about a mutual someone and afterward I thought..."I should call (the friend I was gossiping with) and ask her not to mention what I said to anyone." How crappy is that?! I then scorned myself. If I'm worried about someone hearing my snarky opinion then I shouldn't be saying it all willy-nilly! Totally common sense, but I feel it is not at all common practice.

So, with that- I'm taking a gossip fast for one week. Everyday harmless chit-chat is fine, but if it turns ever so slightly to the "dark side" or if I'd be embarrassed if the person in question heard what I was saying then it's a no-go!

Do you think you could do it? I know a lot of people who say they don't gossip but I've heard them do it regularly! Being mindful of the effects of what we say is one way to control the overall ecosystem we choose to exist in. I'm all about the positive and healthy ecosystem so I'm working harder on my part of it. Care to join me? I'll write how it went for me after the one week is up (Wednesday the 11th)! Cheers!

I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hope SPRIGS eternal.

Some attempts at color in the pit.

Hey y'all! It's Tuesday and it already feels like the week is flying by! Did you have a good weekend? I surely hope so (and should have asked yesterday). I feel like Spring is just around the corner and I'm beginning to see signs of it everywhere.  Keep in mind that I live in North Florida, so even though we had a heck of a cold snap last week (19 degrees!), it still doesn't compare to what's going on all over the country right now. My thoughts are still with all of you dealing with the ice and snow.

Anywho- I had a moment yesterday when I was full to busting over something so small (what else is new, right?). Well, let's just say my backyard has been a thorn in my side for...the entire time I've lived in my apartment. Measures have been taken throughout the years to make the most of what is essentially an 15x10 square of hardly useable space/dustbowl or mud pit depending on the weather. I love gardening too, but with our two pups running amuck out there, it's hardly been the serene sanctuary I'd hoped for. Mostly it's just been dusty and ahem- fragrant. I've been quite ashamed of it to be honest.

But a few weeks ago, on a whim, I bought some grass seed and tossed it out on a small patch of dirt. I watered it a little and then went about my business figuring if anything came of it, awesome. If not- it's no different than the pit it has always been.

Weeks have gone by and I've checked occasionally but nothing's come of it...then BAM! Three days ago, my hubs and I were talking about something or another and happened to be standing at the back door and lo and behold! Grass has started to crop up in a few spots in the yard! It brought such a soaring sense of joy to my heart. 

The next day I hopped out there in my bathrobe and sprinkled seeds everywhere. Even if it's aways a little patchy, I absolutely do not care. That depressing, sad pit of dirt is brightening up sprig by precious sprig and it's given me sense of hope I didn't realize I needed so badly.

It's getting me through some stuff and I know it may seem a little silly. But my heart is doing better for it.

Where can you find a little joy and hope in your life?

I hope you have a truly wonderful day! Also, I wish a wonderful birthday to my dad, Richard Carpenter up there is icy Nashville, Tennessee! I love you, Papa and I hope your day is magnificent!!!  Can't wait to get up there and visit with you!

Thoughts on Time (Part 2)

Through the Looking Glass

Happy Monday, y'all! I hope your weekend has been wonderful! Hopefully you didn't have to go to work today (I've been told it's a holiday), but if you did- you have my sincerest sympathy and understanding!)

Well last week, I wrote this post about the more "bigger picture" aspects of time management. Today, I'm breaking down a few organizational aspects of time management. Some of these ideas are super simple, some are common sense and others are maybe not fun, but they pay off. Here we go!

Keep it simple, Sister!

#1. Write it all down & Utilize a calendar.

Contrary to popular belief (particularly in the world of "time management" research), one does not need anything fancy or expensive to do this (even that stuff seen above). It's fine if that's what helps you feel more productive, but it doesn't work for me and in reality is so completely unnecessary. To me, it is a way to distract from the real tasks at hand by occupying my mind with the project that has to occur before being able to do the real work of organizing. 

To rephrase: I can't organize my time better because I don't have a $300 Filofax organizational system. I'll spend two weeks compiling everything I need to be organized then I'll really get started."

Ugh. Just write it down. Write down all the things you need to do. Write down your daily stuff, write down your short term goals, write down your long term goals. Write down important bill dates etc. project/event/appointment dates too. Stop avoiding it. Get out a calendar and a steno pad and just do it. After you get it all down, you can organize it however you want. First things first, though. 

Also, you must remember that to manage your time better, you have to tend to it regularly. You have to sit down five minutes a day or a half hour a week (whatever works with your headspace) and update, change, move around, rearrange and re-prioritize your goals and tasks etc. Which brings me to the next point.

Dr. Evil loves air quotes just as much as I do.

#2. Determine what is urgent (versus personal priority).

Sure it will be scandalously gratifying to spend three hours tending to a project on your to-do list. Crossing it off the list feels so good! But if you did that and didn't go to the grocery store before a busy week ahead, you are setting yourself up for time management failure. Balance is paramount.

Determining what is urgent (sitting down and doing your taxes, making sure your car is cared for before a road trip, getting the week's groceries purchased and prepped for that long week ahead, getting your kid's school play costume started (instead of binge-watching House), getting a just rough draft of your Great American Novel completed etc.

Those are bigger picture items that get you to a better place so that you have the time to work on other things like: making your bathroom cabinets look Pinterest-worthy, learning how to do a perfect fishtail braid, watching the latest episode of Downton, or spending a few hours delving into the backstory of a character you're workshopping for that Great American Novel. You get my point? No? Let me put it another way:

Party on, Wayne!

#3. Get the no-fun stuff out of the way first and earliest in the day.

Otherwise said by no lesser a sage than Wayne Campbell from Wayne's World (paraphrased of course): "It's like rushing home on Friday after school and getting all your homework done early so the rest of the weekend, you're free to party."

Simply stated: You'll feel buttloads better getting the no-fun stuff done early which makes the rest of your day feel so conquerable! It is a positivity snowball that gives you piles and piles of more time at the end of the day for the things you want to do; the things that make you happiest and bring you the most satisfaction and joy! 

That's what we're all after in the end, isn't it?!

Yep.

#4. Plan. Plan for tomorrow, then have a contingency plan (or two).

I can tell you hardly no other thing about time management that helps more than this simple idea. And yes, I'm familiar with the colloquial saying "the surest way to make God laugh is to tell Him your plans".

However, planning has gotten a bad rep. It seems to be associated with mouse-eyed Type-A's that can't seem to remove the stick from their ass no matter how badly they need to. Real life planning isn't like that.

This is what planning is:
*Making a meal plan for your week, allowing for wiggle room in case a last-minute celebratory outing with friends, family or kids pops up. This kind of planning frees up major money so more fun life stuff is possible.

*Planning is keeping a bag in the trunk of the car that has bottles of water, granola bars and a change of clothes in case there is an emergency or your car breaks down in July and AAA is delayed due to a bizarro pickle truck flipping over on the opposite side of the interstate.

*Planning is keeping a spare box of pasta noodles and spaghetti sauce in the pantry in case one week you have an unexpected bill and can't afford your typical fare. Or a friend is sick and you want to do something for her family while she's stuck in bed. Boom. No extra money needed and you've done a nice deed for someone you love.

Planning isn't filling every single moment of every day and evening with some task, project, event, sport, hobby, etc. The goal of planning is to simplify- to quiet. Not to occupy or busy oneself.

 And that's another thing! Planning is just taking the time to anticipate what can't be anticipated so when life happens (AND IT ALWAYS DOES, Y'ALL!), you aren't derailed. You aren't standing on the side of the interstate waiting for AAA in 100 degree weather, ready to pass out from dehydration (I use this example because I've had that happen and thank goodness I had water in the car)!

If you plan properly, you can be super flexible and enjoy all (or at least more) of life's little curveballs. Sometimes curveballs are the best thing ever, but only if you can manage your stuff enough to be able to glean the positive from each situation!

Alright, okay. That's enough of a lesson for today. I do have a lot left to say on the topic though, so stay tuned for Wednesday's update. Time management doesn't have to be daunting if you approach it with good headspace. Seriously. A little goes a long way toward having the life you want. I know because I'm doing it myself after years and years of struggling.

Check ya later, pals! I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

A little something for your Monday.

I found this quote a while back and like it. I found it again yesterday. Something about it made me smile, and made me say "oh!" and "hmmm.". I think it is a lovely way of describing the simplification/weeding out process (physically and emotionally). I like it and I'm going to meditate on that this week. I know the hubs and I are having major anxiety about our apartment and keep trying to find one that fits our budget and our specific array of needs. In the meantime, we are trying to get as simple as possible (it is not as easy as the blogs say it is). This quote just kinda hit home (no pun intended) for me.

 What about you? Any quotes that really get in your noodle and get you perspectivizing (trademark pending on my new word there)? I'd love to know!

Image from Pinterest.

I truly hope you have a wonderful day! It's a concentrated month, let's make the most of it, y'all! Oh, and Happy Groundhog's Day, Candlemas, and/or Chandeleur Day!

Thoughts on Cruel Intentions...

Y'all, I've been meditating for a few weeks now. I used to years ago, but recently I've dived right into it again and have never been so successful with it as I am these days. A lot of things have improved since I started doing this practice for myself.

1. I sleep better.
2. I take better care of myself in general.
3. I don't lose my mind or complain as much as I used to at work when customers are annoying (which is 80% of the time).
4. My digestion is better.
5. I've gotten more observant to the underlying things going on with people's behaviors (including my own).

All of those things are wonderful. The last one however, is...well, it's interesting. It's like I have a special lens I can see what's behind what people are saying and doing (even catching myself in some cagey moments!). I'm seeing instead of reacting to it. I'm quite aware of my own reactive nature (bad) to their stuff and I'm seeing more clearly between the lines to all of their absolute nonsense (a lot). My senses are heightened and it has definitely been an eye opener.

Here are the things that I'm experiencing (have been for a while) and observing with a  few people in my life all of which I'm pretty much hurt by and just fed up with.

1. Passive aggressive barbs.
2. "Jokingly" name calling.
3. Eye-rolling, sighing, making rude faces whenever something light-hearted or fun or silly is mentioned. (No, these aren't teenagers, these are grown people.)
4. Constant one-ups and beat-downs in a competition I'm not participating in.
5. Subtle undermining and not-so subtle undermining.
6. Bragging about psychologically unhealthy habits as if they're normal then insulting others who disagree.
7. Chaos-to-chaos puddle jumping. (That's a constant, unfortunately).
8. Sabotage and judgment for other's successes.
9. Knocking or berating someone else, particularly if they are in a vulnerable state.

Unlike some people I know...this made me laugh so loud!!

Now, I'm a jokester and I love to laugh, but this is different. I'm also a sensitive gal. And I'm very aware this could easily be misinterpreted as playing the victim. But I'm being honest here, "playing the victim" is not what is happening with these people in my life.

I have my moments too, I own them and I am actively working on them. I want to improve and I don't want to bring anybody down. And there's the rub.

I try really really hard not to take my stuff out on other people. I actively work on it every single day. Even when I get totally pissed off at someone, I remove myself from their presence if I can until I've calmed down so I don't say anything in anger, frustration or defense. Now I know some could say that's not true or that I've been snippy in the past. I totally have. But when I'm cranky y'all, I say so. You never have to guess if something is bugging me. It's written all over my damn face. I don't insult you for asking me about it though. I at least try to remove myself from the situation so I don't lash out.

The rest of the time though, I make a point to tell people something positive and uplifting. It's been a goal of mine for years how and it is successful, for the most part. At least with healthy individuals who don't sling their crazy around like an apron with a bee caught up in it.

Yesterday one of these people called me a bitch because she complimented my lip color and I wasn't wearing any. Now of course calling me a bitch was supposed to be a joke, but...I'm at a point in my life where (call me crazy, y'all) I don't want my supposed friends calling me a bitch or any other mean name to be honest! Okay maybe if they said I was a badass bitch or something like that, but that's a different kind of category entirely!

All of this is to say that I've found myself feeling a bit lonely about it. I am particularly close to two of these three people and it feels gross to feel like a receptacle for their bullshit. It feels really bad to give genuine compliments, feedback and (asked for) advice only to be shot down, insulted, made fun of and undermined (even if it is supposed to sound like a joke). I'm weary of it. I feel sad for them that they seem so miserable inside that they feel compelled to hurt others, to lash out at others (me mostly). I feel sad for them that they can't hear the good being said to them and about them and they choose to shoot it down instead and lash out. I watch them as they sabotage their relationships with their spouses/partners (or can't make it work because they have to find something to pick at), children and well- me, to be frank.

However- some of this is on me. I don't have to react. I don't have to care. I don't have to square peg these relationships. I can simply care about them, hope for the best for them and take care of myself. I have to hear my inner voice and it has to be louder than their piss-ant misery and self-destruction. I've worked too hard to be in a  healthy place. I don't need their (or anyone's) crazy getting on my new pretty shoes, you know what I mean?

And you know what? You don't need it either. Everyone has that person (or persons) in their life that just chooses you as their target and pick ceaselessly. I've got a lot of work to do on myself and how I deal with those situations (other than running away, which always sounds so nice). I'm here for you if you ever need an ear or a shoulder or advice or just a friendly how d'ya do!

I truly hope you have a wonderful day! Be kind to people. Just...choose kindness. Everyone has shit their dealing with, as do you. Kindness is infinitely better and more powerful than choosing to hurt.

Keep reaching for that higher up, healthier place! It's attainable and it's bloody awesome!

Thoughts on 10 minutes...

The other day I saw something on a blog I read regularly (Yes & Yes) about the first ten minutes of anything you do. Something about it really stuck with me. Here's how it goes:

              "The first ten minutes of any part of your day - when you get up, when you get into work, 

               when you get home - often set the pace for the rest of it. Pay attention to your choices; 

               create a routine that serves you."

I love it! It's such a simple concept and it rings true (for me at least). My husband and I are pretty bad about getting on our respective computers as soon as we get home (for example). Yes, we have multiple online outlets that we utilize for business purposes and that's all well and good. I noticed, though, that when we come home and don't open the computers for a while, the vibe is generally better for the evening. Then we feed off each other's productivity. I noticed it just last night when I got home from work! 

So I'm going to make an effort to be better with all of my first ten minutes'. When I wake, when I get to work, when I take my lunch, when I get home from work etc. Even if those ten minute increments are the most productive of my whole day, that's a lot of minutes! It's a hell of a lot better than paying no attention to it at all; and I have a sneaking suspicion that productivity wouldn't stop with that first ten. Positive stuff is super contagious! 

Will you try it with me, y'all? Try to be mindful of the first ten minutes of all you do? It's so easy and it really shed a light on how we spend (and waste!) our time. 

And sometime or another, take a few moments to check out Yes & Yes. Her blog is quite enjoyable!

I truly hope you have a wonderful day!

Thoughts on Calm

Matisse.

I am an emotional sponge. If you are anywhere near me and are feeling wonky, even if you're excellent at covering it up, I'll feel it. I'll ask you one million times how you are feeling and if anything is wrong. It's super annoying, I'm aware. But to me, other people's feelings are amplified and visibly huge to me, like a drive-in movie screen is projecting over your head.

As humans, we all are like this though some people are excellent at deceiving themselves into thinking they are distracting themselves from it. Not true. There are a lot of mixed emotions flying around this time of year and if you don't deal with your stuff, it comes out in super weird and often grouchy ways.

Before you go out and about having contact with others, remember this: every person you speak to or are around has feelings too. Each person has their own crises and mixed emotions going on. Step outside of the chaos and snuggle into a cozy chair in your mind as you cross things off your to-do list. Be mindful of why you're doing it all, even if it seems a little overwhelming. Let mental armchair you guide you through your errands and chores and to-do lists instead of letting chaos, time-crunches, bitterness that your annoying <insert family member here> makes incessant comments of <insert loud and mostly fact-free ramblings on politics, religion or any other unnecessary table-talk here>, last-minute gifts, missing ingredients for the Thanksgiving meal etc. etc. etc. get the best of you.

I do this experiment regularly where I run an errand I don't particularly want to do. I make a point to do it with a (natural) smile on my face. Literally. If I'm having a hard time mustering one, I usually think of something like this. I am always amazed at how nicely people react to it. It begins a snowball of positivity. Helping an elderly person reach the so-and-so from the top shelf, letting someone with fewer items go ahead of you (what's the extra 2 minutes, really? No need to freak out about 2 frickin' minutes, y'all!), telling a harried mother that her kids are well-behaved or look nice in their outfits because she may be losing her damn mind at the moment but she did take the time to find purple mary-janes to match the girls' dresses, letting a manager know when you have a stellar customer service experience yadda yadda. You get my drift. Now try this while you're out doing your thing this week and leading up to your holidays and have it be proven to you. Taking a few extra seconds for others really changes you from the inside out and it's just as contagious as bad, angry, grouchy moods can be- only you look younger and feel better when you're smiling and making others smile too.

Go on with your badass selves, y'all! Spread the positivity everywhere you go. It's free! I guarantee it will come back to you tenfold.

Have a truly wonderful day!

Sunday

We all have something we put off or use an excuse for a lack of progress. Why do we do that? Start it. Begin. The tiniest thing is a beginning. Start somewhere. Simply do it!

Have a truly wonderful day!

Saturday Meditation

Hey y'all,  take some time today to practice stepping outside of a stressful situation. It could be as simple as looking out the window and watching the leaves fall or seeing if you notice any leaves that are changing in the trees. Imagine the Autumn breezes whisking your irritation and frustration away. It is but the work of a moment and it can help you keep from snapping at your loved one or making a rude remark. Try it today. Little 30 second bursts of nature meditation. It works for me all the time, especially at work. Nixing negativity before it evens leaves your mouth is a huge success.

I hope you have a truly wonderful day and weekend!

Little Victories!

A happy place of mine. It's tucked away and I like to read there.

Happy Monday, y'all! I hope you had a great weekend and your week has started back up full of positivity and good intentions. Around here on Mondays I like to celebrate a few small victories in the hopes it will inspire you to take notice of the little things you did that are helping you incrementally toward your goals, happiness and the like! So, without further ado, here's the list!

*I ordered the broccoli. I wanted fries, but I've been craving French fries like crazy for a month and no amount of me ordering it is satiating the craving (so bizarre- and no, I'm not knocked up). However whilst we enjoyed a slap-dash meal at a favorite restaurant this weekend, I ordered the Parmesan broccoli instead. It was delicious and it did make me feel noticeably less guilty/bitchy afterward. Yay for baby trees! That's what I called them when I was a little 'un.

*I said, "I'm great actually." when people asked me how I was doing at work. I felt like rubbish (been fighting a cold thanks to burning the candle at both ends for a few weeks). I could have been grumpy. In all honesty I had to correct myself a few times and remind myself to say I was better than I was. Even though I felt like I had been hit by a truck, I still was doing great. I was in a good mood and I wasn't having difficult customers, everything was going pretty swimmingly. So, to sum that up, I chose the majority good over the one bad. It helped and by the end of the work day I was even beginning to feel a bit better.

*I told someone they were right/had good advice when they were/gave it. Two peoples actually! It's funny and odd to realize how frequently our friends, family, co-workers, spouses, lovers etc. say or do something that is solid and how rarely we tell them that. For reasons of pride or time or whatever excuses we make. But it felt good to say, "That's great advice, so-and-so. I think I may just try that!" and "You know, you are right about that thing we talked about. Thanks for your input, it really helped me with my quandary etc." However you say it, try to acknowledge someone's rightness today. It really surprises them and usually brings a smile to their faces.

What little victories did you have? I'd love to know!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!!