Boot & Rally

My Japanese Magnolia.

Where do you get the fuel to do what makes you truly happy?

You see, I feel called to do a handful of things. I daydream about them all the time, I wake up thinking about it and fall asleep thinking about it (I'm an Air sign, it's kind of our thing). But when it comes to taking the necessary steps to getting those things I dream of started, I short-circuit. I find other things that could be done instead. Things for other people, busywork tasks, mundane life errands etc.

I know I am intimidated to start. I also know I'm afraid to fail and afraid that if I succeed, I'll find out that said life plan is shite and then have to find another one and end up at square one again.

I'm not good at teaching myself certain types of things. I get worked up into a froth and take a two hour bath or drink three glasses of wine instead. Then I wake up and I'm 34 and still staring into the middle distance dreaming of the things I want to do.

It's bogus, man. Truly uncool.

We don't have a lot of time on this magnificent blue marble. We have talents and gifts for a reason. Not using them is nonsense. Not taking the first step because it scares the snot out of you and has your stomach in your throat is nonsense too.

This is a rally cry, y'all. For myself to get my ass in gear, and for you too. I know a lot of you who read this blog (hey y'all!) and I know for a fact how completely badass you can be. To those I don't personally know (hey y'all!), there is all kinds of badassery you are capable of that I haven't even been made aware of yet. And all of this marvelous madness should be shared with the world. It's interesting and honest and we need more of it!!

Let's do this, kiddos. Let's take a baby step today. Let's make some moves!

-L

Top Three Ch-ch-changes!

Hey guys! Well, today's Top Three coincides nicely with the happy cyclone of activity in my world these days. Wanna know about it?

#1. After four years at my job, I have put in my notice. It's been a helluva ride, these past four years, and I feel I've emerged from it a better, wiser person. There were some really hard times (my thanks to every person that had to listen to me bitch about it for nearly half a decade). There have been amazing people and lots of laughs and shoulders to cry on. I'm super grateful for that and I'm taking that with me in a heart-shaped velvet box, so to speak. Today is my last day. Afterwards we're all meeting up for drinks and laughs and probably tears. Some of the people I've worked with are so special and we all worry a little that we won't see each other as much as we really want to (like high school graduation). But we're going to try.

The opportunity to work in this place came to me when the Hubs and I were going through some serious LIFE stuff. I was (though I didn't quite realize it) in the throes of a serious bout with depression. I wasn't coping with anything life had to hand me and frequently sabotaged myself. I took the job out of sheer desperation and it became an island in a tempestuous sea. Sometimes it actually became the tempestuous sea and the island was something else altogether. I won't lie about that. There were many nights I came home and wept and drank copious glasses of wine because though the people I work with were becoming special to me, it wasn't easy to get there and the job itself was throttling my psyche. So today is the last day I officially work there. I'm very thankful for what it taught me, the people it brought into my world and the person that has been sculpted from every chip it seemed to be hacking away from me. Turns out, there is a method to the madness, y'all.

#2. I'm starting a new job!! I'm so excited and so terrified. It's in a similar field except I will no longer have to sell, sell, SELL! Or work an insanely always-changing schedule. I will have off a day or two around holidays (17 years of retail says what?!). I don't even know what to do with that, y'all.  I'll be one of those people who has weekends. I cannot wrap my head around that one. Like at all. It doesn't seem real. Of course, I'll be learning new skills and working with a new bunch of people who hopefully won't totally suck. Hopefully I won't suck at this job either! Here's hoping!

#3. My Fall haircut. It isn't earth-shattering news but it is a change! After a sweltering summer and wearing my hair in a ballet bun for four months, honey- I'm ready to have a new look. I was going to wait until the first day of Fall to really kick it off, but I kinda had to with the new gig.

The first picture is right when I got out of the salon...it's a little too perfect, but that's what happens when you go to the salon. I call that my "A Little Bit Country" look. The one on the right is more my style. A little looser and textured. My "A Little Bit Rock & Roll" look. The last image is what I'm aspiring to, minus the slightly vacant eyes.

So, what do y'all think? I love it and can't wait to see how it looks when I get it long like it is in the "inspiration' picture. I really dig it.

Anywho, guys! I hope y'all have a great weekend and think good thoughts for Little Lulu on Monday. I'm so nervous!!!

XOXO

A little something extra!

Julia.

I found this fantastic post on Yes & Yes today and it really tied in nicely with my post from this morning.

Don't you love it when something serendipitous happens like that?

The Good & The Bad...

I had every intention of posting a detailed post about bad job interviews and what they teach you. I wrote it yesterday and reread it about fourteen times before I decided I sounded a bit petty (and angry), though the message was good. So instead, I am going to give a reader's digest version of what happened on a bad interview recently and what it taught me.

The Bad: 

Weasel-y interviewer, said he didn't have time for me. He proceeded to insult my education, experience and my actual name. Not a fan of women in general, he apparently finds the fact that women have children inconvenient. Most of this was done quite passive-aggressively with several actual barbs. I also caught him looking at my chest. He told me I basically had the job (because they are desperate). Twice. But, I left feeling defeated as I am quite in need of a career change, but working for that creep wasn't an option. I cried in a diner over scrambled eggs. I felt like a Joan/Peggy hybrid.

The Good:

Some time with my mom and step-dad cheered me up and most of the anger went away. I felt a bit rejuvenated actually. I felt like I was aiming my sights too low anyway and that I should aim for better things. Things that make me a little happier, even if they aren't "my life's work". There is a whole lot out there that would be better than where I am now, and where I could have ended up if I had accepted that job.

Something I love about the KonMari Method I've been so excitedly practicing over the past few weeks is the psychological bent it takes in regard to letting things go. Generally, as with most every human I've ever met, "letting go" doesn't always come easily. I find it's even harder when my feelings get hurt. In the KonMari Method, when you let go of a physical item, you thank it. You either say "thank you, Winter Coat for keeping me warm all of those chilly days" or "thank you Brown Dress, for showing me what styles actually look good on me and which do not". In this case, Mr. Creep is a hideous brown dress I'm throwing out.

What a gift that sad person gave me. He showed me that you have to kiss some frogs before you find the right gig. He also showed me that I'm worth a lot more than the jobs I've been looking for.

Have you any interview horror stories?! Tell me yours and I hope you have a truly wonderful day!