For the win!

Post yard sale glow...and celebratory breakfast time!

Well, we had the yard sale on Saturday. Boy, does it ever feel good to have that over. I feel like I could get rid of a whole lot more too. I reckon I'll be making a few more passes through the ole storage unit over the next few weeks.

This was the storage unit before we loaded it up. I have to say even after eleven boxes, an enormous painting, some furniture and some odds and ends- it didn't look as empty as I'd hoped. I'm getting back in there over the next few weeks because I really want to downgrade.

Two truckloads of stuff! I also have a cute photo of my sweet friend who helped me, but the sun was shining right in his eyes and I didn't want to put a picture up without his approval ('cause I lurve ya hunneh).

You see...it was SO busy so early, that by 9:30 a.m., we had almost sold out of everything worth anything. When it died down, we called a local charity and they picked it all up for us while we went and had cold beers. Anyway, I wanted to get a picture of the hullaballoo, but this is what I got instead.

And then I made that cheddar y'all! It was my 3rd most successful yard sale, but I'm grateful for it and I'm thankful to be rid of so much stuff. I think there had to be at least an actual ton of stuff we got rid of. It feels good! And ridding myself of the unnecessary is rather addictive!

So what did y'all do with your weekend? I'd love to know! I hope you have a wonderful day!!

A little adieu...

Image

I love Autumn. It's my favourite time of year (though Winter is a close second). I can't believe that this season is already over! It seemed like Summer took forever to move along and Autumn has breezed by in a complete blur! It has been a beautiful season here in North Florida. That's not something I ever get to say, but we really have had a colourful Fall full of chilly nights, clear skies and even woodsmoke on the air once in a while!

The Winter Solstice is coming up. The longest night of the year and the first day of Winter. I hope you get a chance to get out in the beautiful last lingering days of Fall. It's hard to believe what with all the holiday preparations, that it technically is still Autumn. Sigh. I encourage you to take some time and feel peace in nature during this transitional time. It's crisp, the colours are fading into the silvers, tawny browns and greys of this new season. It's all so beautiful isn't it? Watching it all transform?

I plan on taking a little time this weekend to get a little fire going in the backyard fire pit. I may even brew up wassail and perhaps play a game of dominoes with the hubs in the very few hours I do not have to be at work. What will you do to note this passing of time? I hope you steal a peaceful moment for yourself.

Here is a previous musing on the seasons, and another. I hope you have a wonderful day!

Sunday Affirmation

I've talked a lot about money lately. I found this today and it made me laugh at myself.

And it's true, you know? Having your bills paid is great. Awesome really. Living in an abundant state of what you need and a little extra is truly peaceful. However, it is always important to remember what money can't buy.

Have a beautiful Sunday, y'all!

Saturday Meditation

The sunset at the "lake" where I live.

Hello friends! Fall is officially here, and though it is still mighty warm outside, the breezes have been kicking up and pale yellow leaves have begun to swirl to the ground. It is my absolute favorite time of year. It makes me feel so alive and energetic. Everything seems a bit more magical. The slow, dark mornings and the blazing sunsets. Oh it's just fantastic! And don't get me started on pumpkins! Pumpkins are my favorite thing, I always joke that they are my spirit animal.

Today (or this weekend) take some time to experience the season in its infancy. Feel the cool morning  (you may even need a sweater, yay!) turn into a warm afternoon. Find a lovely place to sit and just be out in it. Don't get on your phone, or read a book (save that for later). Instead, really watch, smell, feel, and listen to this early Autumn. Feel the pleasant warmth of the afternoon turn chilly as the sunset fades.

There are already pumpkins for sale at the hardware store!

Autumn is a bountiful time, I've heard it described as Nature's big blowout party before Winter. I like that. It does have a pleasant frenzy to it. A triumphant rager before things grow quiet and still in the cold months ahead. The trees' colors are ablaze (or will be very soon), the wind whips up little tiny cyclones of leaves (I love when that happens), people dress cozily and food gets particularly awesome (hearty soups, roasted root veggies, rich and savory, yummy warm deliciousness). It really is special.

Get out in it and breathe it in. Each time you do, notice how Summer is fading gracefully away. It's breathtaking really, as Autumn sweeps in. Be present with that today. Enjoy it. Be calm and peaceful.

I hope y'all have a wonderful day (and weekend!).

Sunday Affirmation

What do you say, friends? Wanna make something beautiful out of the mud life hands us? I say hell yes! Hell yeah, I will manifest beauty from the shit-storms! You with me?!

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Saturday Meditation

The releasing of thousands of wish lanterns.

Today, friends, I want to focus on forgiveness. Not in a macro kind of "forgive me" way, but in a micro, I forgive ____ for ____ kind of way. Today I want you to find a space in nature, or in view of it. Close your eyes and clear your mind. I find that counting breaths until reaching my age works well, so I deeply breathe for 32 breaths. By the time I hit my number my mind has settled down a bit and the counting keeps it from wandering.

Now for the uncomfortable part. Once you've cleared your mind a bit, reflect on something that you've done to someone else. Say, a bad breakup at your hands that could have been handled better or getting hammered at the company picnic, or making fun of someone only to find they're standing right behind you. Ugh. Cringe. I know, right? We've all been there. I could quite possibly be the ambassador for that cringey place.

Once you have that memory in your mind, go through it. What was it that made you do that, say that, or act that way? At that company picnic, were you nervous about your new job so you kept throwing back beers even though you knew your boss was watching? Who were you trying to entertain and why when you started making fun of a person only to realize they heard you and you could see the hurt or anger on their face? What made you break up with that person the way you did? Were you being a chicken, being mean, or just at your wit's end? Really delve into your memory and find the root of why you acted in a way you are ashamed of. It's not fun, but its important to identify the reason you acted the way you did.

In all of my cases it came down to these five things: social anxiety + booze, grief, depression, being overwhelmed (usually because of not listening to my intuition) and/or fear. One of those things was in play every single time I've done something I regret. I know, we aren't supposed to have regrets, or so they tell us- but I do. And I work hard to forgive myself of all the dumb things I've done and said. Have you identified what your root(s) is in this case? Once you do, the next step is surprisingly simple...Let it go.

Release it and forgive yourself. Realize you could have made better choices and that you're human and in this situation you didn't make a good choice for _______ reason. Forgive your past self so your present and future self don't have to lug so much old shit around. I find that writing it down and then lighting the piece of paper on fire helps.  Make a pact with yourself. It could go something like this:

"Hey, regretful self?"

"Yeah, self that's trying to become a better self?"

"You know that time you made a really inappropriate joke at someone's expense at that party, and instead of letting the hurtful joke go, you repeated it...twice? And you watched the person who it was about handle it in a classy way though he/she seemed very hurt by it?"

"Ugh, don't remind me. That memory makes me feel gross."

"Well, you apologized to them. Years ago."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, forgive yourself and let it go. You're a human and humans make mistakes. You've also promised yourself not to do something like that again, even when you're in a social situation that makes you nervous and your first reaction is to crack a joke no matter the cost. Got it? Let it go, kiddo! We can't carry around all these old regrets forever, it's giving us a hunchback!!"

"I guess you're right, but I feel like punishing myself over and over for it is like a way of making up for the mistake in the first place."

"How medieval of you."

"Shut up. I know you're right. I should let it go. I promise I will try my best not to put myself or someone else in that kind of situation again."

"And if you do?"

"I'll think before I speak."

"How novel. And?"

"I'll try to keep positive thoughts and words flowing instead of letting anxiety and the need to please/entertain everybody dominate my psyche."

"And?"

"And I'll forgive myself for being rude to that person so many years ago. And- I'll release that regret."

"Well done, kiddo. Now go have a cookie." Cue the freeze frame high five!

If that embarrassing scenario sounded too detailed to be made up, it is because that's a real one for me. I did make a hurtful joke, and I did repeat it twice and I did apologize to that person years ago and still held onto that embarrassment and shame for almost a decade!! It may seem small compared to other regrets you could cull from your memory (and it is small compared to some of my life regrets) but it's a place to start. And I have to let go of that little regret in order to become more adept at forgiving myself for the big things. I hope you take the time to release something like this from your heart. You deserve inner peace, but you have to work for it; and you can't have inner peace if you're constantly at war with yourself. Be kind.

I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Love Yo'self!

Hello friends! It is Thursday- this week seems to be flying by! Well, Thursdays around here are all about self-care and self-love. Taking care of our vessels is paramount. I don't know why it is so hard to take care of ourselves sometimes. We go out of our way for others, yet neglect the one person we are on this planet with for our entire lives! It's bananas people! Total nonsense!

So, in honor of a dear friend who needs a good reminder (you know who you are!) and to remind all of us (myself included) that we must care for ourselves well, first and foremost, before we can truly help others (like the oxygen mask situation on a plane). Heeeere we go!

*The 10 things you must tell yourself today. I really like this one!

*I love this! Kindness meditation. It's so simple and even though it's for children, I think we could all take a page from this book and nurture kindness even in the subtlest of ways. Quite frankly I think we could all take some time and relearn the lessons of childhood so we can be better adults.

*I love a list and an infographic too! Five mantras for daily self-love. I felt particularly drawn to the Nourish, Powerful & Worthy ones. Good stuff!

*Self-love is asking yourself what you need- every day- and making sure you receive it. 
Dang! I really like that!!!

*Wow! This mother/daughter Ecard actually moved me. I didn't expect that from what are usually pretty funny, snarky little throwaways. Good on you, whomever made that one! It certainly does ring true, but I think we can dream bigger than just our children (ahem- since mine don't exist yet) and do this for everyone.

*Because PMS is a bitch, and so is menopause and Mondays and traffic and screaming kids and needy people at work and...anyway- a little something something to make you feel gooooooooooood.

And to my dear friend, let me gently remind you- you are capable of training your thoughts to be kinder toward yourself. The steps you take toward breaking unhealthy and dangerous cycles now, will  benefit you so incredibly much more as you get older (take it from me- 30 ain't no joke and neither will  be 40, 50, 60 or 90! But each year gets even more awesome to make up for it!) Every little thing you do to make your body healthy, happy, and balanced (physically, emotionally and spiritually) will only aid you further along in your life. I love you.

And I love all y'all who read P&PPS. Take care of yourselves. I hope you have a truly wonderful day!

Thoughts on Crazy-Makers Part 1

Image courtesy of Anne Taintor.

We all have one (or more) in our lives. We may work with some, live with them, or even love them. Our crazy-makers. These are the folks that, although they may not mean for it, they create chaos around them wherever they go.  Their inner turmoil spills out and attaches itself to the nearest living things.

I've had many. From fair-weather friends to roommates; from relatives to boyfriends to bosses. In fact, not too long ago I had an encounter with a former crazy-maker whom I removed from my life many years ago. Long gone was my anger toward this person. I attempted civility, this person was genuinely trying to be nice. I kind of ruined that one, but it wasn't on purpose. You see, when this friend and I "broke up", so to speak, I fell into that big (and complicated) depression I've mentioned to you all before. That isn't the point though. The point is that when this person and I dispersed, I was overwhelmed with a phenomenally visceral rush of emotions. I had to leave where I was. I felt like I had to run. I couldn't control my sadness. It was bizarre. My body and spirit were trying to cope with things my brain hadn't caught up to yet. What does this have to do with crazy-makers? I'm getting there, hold your horses.

You see, in my case (many times past and present), I was very close to my crazy-maker. I loved this person. I laughed with them. We shared secrets and dreams. We were great friends. I trusted them deeply. When things went lopsided, I felt ripped apart. Like a little kid whose Christmas morning was burning down all around her. In my romantic life, things were better than ever. I'd just met and married the love of my life. However, every single other aspect of my life felt appallingly out of order and it felt like it was because of this person's single-handed ability to destroy everything around them.  I felt like I was collateral damage because of the decisions they made. It was a characteristic of their's we had discussed in varying degrees over the course of our friendship. A "center of the Universe" way of existing that could be harmful to others, almost always unintentionally. And I spent years being angry for the things directly corresponding to that crazy-maker of mine's actions. And in true victim mentally, attributed things to them that were not at all their fault. However I was sad and angry. I was struggling to find a job and was generally just pissed off at the selfish actions of this person that so deeply affected my life, my happiness. At that point, I'm pretty sure I was my mother's crazy-maker (sorry Mom!).

The point is, when I became overwhelmed that day, I cried. I cried in my car, I cried in a parking lot and tried to hold it together in the checkout line at the grocery store. I finally sat my pathetic ass down to write. That's how I figure out what's going on with me. I literally wrote "What is making me so upset?" I answered myself in bullet points. Why this visit brought up so much pain and anger and sadness and I realized that I was simply grieving. I was grieving a future I had imagined for myself. One that made me happier than I am now. I was grieving how happy I was before things went sour. I was young and hopeful and independent. I was taking care of business and feeling confident for the first time as an "adult". I had hope. Hope that I could make something of myself and be a partner with that person possibly in a career move. Bah. It's embarrassing to even write it down, it's sounds whiny!

I looked at this list. I examined it. I forced myself to look at it for a good, long time. Then turned the paper over and asked myself another question..."What can I do to make my life more of what I want?" The things that poured out from me after that, made me happy just to write them. Go to concerts, for example. Something I did regularly (I'm a music nut) back in the day. Something that brought me tremendous happiness and release. It's been years since I've procured tickets for myself to a show that I really really wanted to see. Other simple things came out too. Different activities I can do instead of holing up for a Netflix marathon like I have been during my darker days because I just need an escape from reality. The answers were so simple and again, I was embarrassed that depression put such a veil over my eyes. I couldn't fathom doing any of the things on this list even a few months before and now that I was beginning to crawl out of it and take responsibility for my own nonsense, it all flowed.

I laughed to (perhaps at) myself then. This crazy-maker was one not only because of their own personal and poisonous stuff, but also because I let them be. I let this person wreak havoc because I loved them and allowed them too. That shit's on me. Ooh, not a fun pill to take. But I learned that I can love someone but not allow them to have power over me. I learned (and am still learning) what their individual tornado sirens sound like and am working on building my own little spiritual and emotional storm shelter. I realized that sometimes I am my own worst crazy-maker. That's a big one. But what I'm most thrilled that I learned is that my personal peace is not dictated by anyone else but me. My body is a temple, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually; and you have got to keep that shit tight. Sweep up the dirt, push the boulders out of the way, pull the weeds, plant seeds of change, play some good damn music, clean the windows and let the sunshine in. Deep forgiveness is a big part of that. Forgive them, and forgive yourself.

We are our own peace-makers.

I hope you have a truly wonderful day.