I spent too much money two weekends ago going out to eat several nights in a row. I was really upset with myself for being so lazy it affected my budget (greatly). I beat myself up and spent the entire week being very budget conscious (not extreme austerity, but careful). Guess what I did this weekend? I repeated the same mistakes again! Even though I didn't necessarily want to, I sure was quick to justify it! Now part of that was for social reasons and my husband's cabin fever. However, I have been so upset with myself for doing it again. I could have justified one dinner, but four?! I'm not Jay Gatsby, for crying out loud!
It got me thinking about the cycles of behavior that happen for a lot of us (well, I'm speaking directly about myself but perhaps you can relate). In other times in my life I was making far bigger mistakes than I am making now, and somehow was able to forgive myself because I knew I was struggling, growing, climbing and clawing my way up to a better existence. But why couldn't I forgive myself for two weekends of budget blow outs? What was the difference?
All I can gather is that perhaps, this was far more controllable a mistake to manage. There were no reasons other than laziness and cabin fever to speak of. I had the ability to say no every time I said yes. That's on me. It's also something that I've been so proud of lately- money management. That's why I'm so mad I could spit, I reckon. I let myself down and sabotaged my financial goals. Of course then, my mind wandered a bit to other cycles in my life that are totally controllable that I keep on repeating, the other "sabotages". Some big things, some microscopic. I chose a beer when I could have had tea and kept in tune with my health and fitness goals, for example.
I simply do not want to repeat mistakes over and over again (I recognize that I'm a human and humans have a tendency to do that, but I want to cut as much out as is feasible). I don't want to sabotage my future goals for whatever reason I can come up with at any given moment. I want to stay true to my goals and make it happen. It's part of that "no one is going to swoop in and save me" thing.
So, this is what I'm going to do this week:
*I'm creating an adjusted grocery budget for the rest of the week so I can make delicious meals at home (and in advance) so there isn't another excuse to go out.
*Every day I keep to it, I'll transfer $20 to a separate checking account.
*At the end of the week (the tempting time for us to go out and do stuff), I'll use that money and that money only for a fun lunch or dinner with the hubs.
*I'm also going to start stashing $50 from every paycheck for the holidays. I work retail and I'm always exhausted/grumpy when it rolls around, this will be one less thing I can bitch about.
*No extraneous spending for the next week. No tchotchkes or smoothies, no candles or clothes. Nada. I've got plenty.
What are your goals? Have you ever found yourself accidentally sabotaging your goals? What do you do to keep yourself focused on your goals and not let your feelings/laziness/obligations etc. get in the way? I'd love to know!
I hope you have a truly wonderful day, y'all. Be kind to yourself!
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